


Et fumus eius ascendit in saecula saeculorum

by orphan_account



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: F/F, Genderswap, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Roman Catholicism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Assorted drabbles for Maddie Murdock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Currently the pairings tagged are being worked with but not ready to post. I just sort of wanted to throw this out there because it's fun lazy day writing that I've been working on for a little bit and I decided it won't be able to really go anywhere else besides a drabble collection.
> 
> Title means 'for her smoke ascends forever and ever' in Latin. It's from the Vulgate bible, Revelations 19:3. I found the quote out of context for a different purpose a long time ago, but here I love the context.
> 
> "True and just are his judgments, he who has judged the great harlot that corrupted the earth by her prostitution. And he has vindicated the blood of his servants from her hands. And again, they said: “Alleluia! For her smoke ascends forever and ever.”
> 
> Matt as hell y/y?

**Christmas**

Her first memory is colored red. Not like blood - a mirror image of herself in a maroon velvet dress with a bright green bow. Her father scoops her up by the armpits and sets her against his hip, face bright and free of worry lines and scars.

“Put me on your shoulders!” she cries out with great excitement. “I wanna be tall!”

Her father laughs, and swings her up over his head. For a moment her legs dangle precariously, but then she’s wrapped them around her father’s neck and he’s holding them tight.

“Soon you’re gonna be too big for this, kiddo,” he says.

“Are you guys coming?” calls her mother from the hallway. “It’s 11:30. We don’t want to be late for mass.”

This is the first time she’s ever been up until midnight. She sets her chin on her dad’s head, and then yawns.

“Don’t fall asleep on us yet, Maddie,” says her father in an amused voice. “Just a minute, Grace!” he calls down the stairs.

It fades to black before she can catch a glimpse of her mother’s face.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**The Murdock Girls**

“The Murdock boys have got the devil in them,” is her grandmother’s favorite saying. She repeats it with a knowing look whenever Maddie’s dad comes home from a boxing match with a bloody face or a sprained wrist. He doesn’t refute her claims, only throws his winnings on the kitchen table and goes upstairs to take a shower and fall asleep. Maddie checks on him every night before bed. In sleep, his face is gentle, so far from the aggression he shows off in the ring. She can’t find any devil in the scars on his calloused hands.

One night as Maddie and her grandmother watch a particularly brutal boxing match on the television, Maddie asks, “Do the Murdock girls have the devil in them too?”

Her dad lands a particularly nasty blow to his opponent’s jaw. It emits a loud crack; he’s broken it. With the other hand, he breaks the man’s nose. Maddie’s grandmother sighs.

“If they do, it’s not like that.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Death**

Maddie’s grandmother is lowered into the ground when she’s seven years old. Like a good Catholic boy, her father doesn’t cry. He stands tall during the funeral, winter wind blowing through his hair, and stares off into the distance as the priest says,

‘Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name -’

It’s what her grandmother would have wanted.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**The Brownstone**

They move to a brownstone in Hell’s Kitchen run by a landlord who always seems to want more money. There isn’t as much to go around these days, but her dad seems happier, lighter since the move. This, despite coming home every night bloodier than ever because they need more income to get by. He stitches up his face in the kitchen as Maddie does her homework, wincing whenever he pushes the needle in.

“This is why you stay in school, Maddie,” says her dad. “Don’t end up like me. Selling your body causes you nothing but trouble.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Home Economics**

Maddie’s small, agile hands can close wounds better than her father’s can. His eyes crinkle into a smile when she finishes and lays a kiss on her work.

“Get back to your homework,” he says. “You’re smart. When I’m worn out and old, you’ll make enough money for the both of us.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Hair**

“I want to cut off my hair,” she says to her dad during breakfast one morning. He runs his fingers through her ponytail.

“Are you sure, bud? I thought you liked it long.”

“That jerk Jeremy in my class thinks it’s funny to keep pulling it and tying it in knots. He whispers gross things in my ears about how soft and pretty it is when the teacher is talking.” She balls up her fists under the table. “I wish I could hit him right in his dumb face.”

“Hey now, you don’t gotta do that,” says her dad. “I’ll cut it for you after school.”

It doesn’t turn out pretty. He cuts it a little lopsided, and it’s shaped for someone who has a male hairline. She runs her fingers through it when he’s finished, shaking out the loose strands of hair, and grins at her awkward reflection.

It’s perfect.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Screams**

Before the accident, Maddie listened to sirens at night and had fun imagining why they were happening. Now, she hardly hears them at all. Her ears are assaulted at night with screams of the city’s women, too numerous to count. Horrifyingly, the ambulances hardly ever show up to save them. Instead, there is screaming. . .and then silence. That is, until the same women cry out the next night with renewed terror.

Maddie isn’t afraid. She’s furious.


	8. Chapter 8

**Death Redux**

Her dad is buried next to her grandmother. After the solemn funeral, Maddie runs her fingers over the lettering on the gravestone. Jack Murdock 1960-1995.

She doesn’t cry.

It’s what her dad would have wanted.


End file.
